Devarim, 1:1: “These are the words that Moshe spoke to all Yisrael, on the other side of the Yarden, concerning the Arabah, opposite the Sea of Reeds, between Paranand Tophel and Lavan, and Chatseirosand Dizahav.

Rashi, Devarim, 1:1, Dh: Bein Paran: “…and on what they did in the desert of Paran through the spies.”

Rashi, Devarim, 1:1, Dh: V’Chatseiros: “…dvar acher, he said to them, ‘you should have learnt from what I did to Miriam in Chatseiros because of lashon hara and you spoke against the Makom [HaShem].

Rashi, Bamidbar, 13:1 Dh: Shelach: “Why is the section of the Meraglim connected to the section of Miriam [with regard to her lashon hara]?  Because she was punished because of her speech about her brother, and these wicked people saw and did not take mussar.”

In his opening words in Sefer Devarim, Moshe Rabbeinu alludes to a number of sins that the Jewish people committed during their time in the desert.  He mentions a number of places that hint at the sin.  Paran alludes to the sin of the Meraglim because the spies were sent from there.  Chatseiros alludes to another aspect of the sin of the spies in that they did not learn from the punishment that Miriam received for speaking lashon hara, and instead, spoke lashon hara themselves.

The Maharal^[1]asks why there are two places that seemingly refer to the same sin of the Meraglim – Paran and Chatseiros? He answers that there were in fact two separate sins that were committed by the Meraglim. One was the actual lashon hara that they spoke, and the other was the sin of not learning from the recent experience of Miriam’s punishment for lashon hara and applying it to their own situation.  We see from here that not learning from another persons’ experiences is a sin in and of itself.

Rashi speaks this point out in the beginning of Parshas Shelach, quoting the Midrash Tanchumah.  The Midrash states that the Meraglim were doubly guilty for their sin because they saw first-hand the results of speaking lashon hara but did not learn from this and apply it to their own situation with regard to speaking badly about Eretz Yisrael.  However, a question arises: It is clear that the spies were very learned men – they surely knew the intricacies of the issur to speak lashon hara – accordingly, even without the experience of Miriam, they certainly would not speak blatant lashon hara for no good reason.  Rather, as the commentaries discuss, they had seemingly good reasons as to why they were justified in their speech,[2] and surely believed that their speech constituted lashon hara l’toeles.  Consequently, why would the fact that they saw what happened to Miriam, prevent them from lashon hara when they could still rationalize that they had valid reasons for why their speech was permitted and even necessary?

The answer seems to be that the experience of Miriam’s punishment itself should have demonstrated to them that even when a person believes he is speaking l’toeles, there is a very good chance that he is incorrect in his calculations or has biases that are clouding his judgment.  As the Rambam writes, Miriam acted with totally pure motives, had no resentments to her brother, and Moshe was not hurt by her speech, and still, she was severely punished.^[3]  The spies should have learned from Miriam that even if a person feels that he is justified in his speech, he should do intense self-analysis to see if that is really the case, because if it is not, then he will transgress the terrible sin of lashon hara. 

One may still ask another question:  Even with this lesson that a person must be very careful when speaking lashon hara l’toeles, the two cases seem incomparable.  Miriam spoke against Moshe Rabbeinu, whereas the spies spoke against the Land – maybe they reasoned that there was no issur lashon hara about the land, and so the example of Miriam did not apply to them?

Rashi on this week’s Parsha appears to answer this question^[4]:  He writes, quoting the Sifri, that they spoke against HaShem – that the Meraglim’s speech was not just against the Land of Israel, rather it was against HaShem because by criticizing the Land that He so highly valued, and designated for the Jewish people, they were in effect, criticizing Him.  Based on this, it is very apparent why they should have learned from Miriam’s punishment – if she was punished so severely for speaking against a human being, all the more so, they should be careful not to speak against HaShem.

In addition to the obvious lesson about how careful one should be when speaking negatively about someone, even if he feels it is l’toeles, a more general lesson can be derived from these ideas.  When we discuss mussar we normally refer to reading a mussar sefer such as Mesillas Yesharim or we think about how the great Baalei mussar would repeat Torah concepts again and again in order to internalize them.  Of course, these aspects of mussar are essential, but we learn from Chazal that a basic aspect of mussar is learning from the mistakes of other people.  Nowadays, we don’t experience such direct consequences as in the Desert, but still, it is often quite evident how people’s mistakes can have negative results.  This can be in the realm of marriage, parenting, or general observance.  For example, if a person sees his friend falling in his observance because of an over-reliance on technology, he should take that to heart, apply it to his own use of technology and contemplate whether any changes are needed.

^[1] Gur Aryeh, Devarim, 1:1.

^[2] Such as that they knew Moshe Rabbeinu would die when they entered the Land, and so they wanted to delay his death; or that they did not want to relinquish the supernatural lifestyle that they lived in the desert.

^[3] Rambam, Hilchos Tumas Tzoraas, Chapter 16, Halacha 10

^[4] This answer is based on the Mizrachi al haTorah and Zichron Binyamin Zev on this verse.

Last year, I received an invitation to the wedding of Shmaryahu Shulman to Mika BenArbon. Shmaryahu had learned in my shiur two years before, for a few weeks during the summer. After that, he learned full-time in other yeshivos, and occasionally we’d bump into each other. I wanted to go to his wedding, but the Lakewood venue meant a long drive. I was on the fence. A few weeks later at a bris, I saw Shmaryahu, who came over to me and introduced me to his kallah, Mika. They both asked me about coming to the wedding. The next week, I got a text message with an additional wedding invitation. It was clear now… I must attend this wedding!

Meanwhile, my daughter Aviva was set up on a shidduch to Yosef Keilson. They had gone out many times and it was getting serious. Aviva mentioned that for their next meeting, Yosef asked if she would like to hear him sing at a chuppah in Lakewood, and afterward they would go on their date. I told Aviva, “I’m going to a wedding that same night in Lakewood, so I could drive you!” Well, you guessed it. We were going to the same wedding! Divine Providence was on overdrive…

That special Lakewood wedding took place on Parshas Shelach, which discusses the mission of the meraglim (spies) and the journey of Bnei Yisrael. The opening midrash in Shelach equates the mission of the spies to someone embarking on a journey. The Sfas Emes quotes the Chiddushei HaRim, who says the word “shelach” means to “send on a journey/mission.” Every person has a shlichus—a mission—from Hashem with which he/she is sent to this world. If we live our lives with an important goal in mind, we have the status of shluchei mitzvah—agents to perform a mitzvah—who receive a measure of protection, as the Gemara says, “Shluchei mitzvah einan nizakin”—people on the way to perform a mitzvah are protected from harm.

The Sfas Emes explains the mission of the spies in this context. Klal Yisrael, on their own initiative, approached Moshe to send spies to scout out Eretz Yisrael. Not a good sign. Although Hashem saw the impending disaster, He told Moshe to go ahead and send the spies. Since the order came from Hashem, the spies would be agents of Hashem enroute to perform a mitzvah, so they would be protected from the error of giving a bad report. However, they had to carry out their mission as agents of Hashem, not agents of the people. This was the mistake of the ten spies. Only Yehoshua and Calev saw themselves as agents of Hashem. Only they merited protection from following the bad counsel of the other ten spies.

My trip to this wedding was clearly a mission from Hashem. At the chuppah, there was a card on each guest’s seat, written by the chasan. It read, “As we sit at the chuppah tonight, we have a quiet opportunity to reflect over the past year how many changes in the fabric of our lives have occurred…” The card listed various world events and continued, “There has been a song playing in my mind for the past few months, as various tragedies happened to our family… As we struggled again and again to use our limited minds to understand Hashem’s plan, I am reminded that although I do not understand the plan, that doesn’t mean there is not a plan. Ani ma’amin—I trust fully—that Hashem has created the world, oversees the world, and oversees each person individually. On this program there are no individual names of people listed who will be walking down the aisle. We are all walkers tonight. We are all on the same journey. Each of us is playing his or her role based on the script that Hashem has written and designed for us. My heartfelt wish now is that we all use this time as introspective moments to ask Hashem for help; not to try to understand Hashem’s plan, but rather to be blessed with guidance to understand how to navigate our personal journeys, as the chasan and kallah begin theirs.”

When my daughter came home that night, she told my wife and I that she was ready to get engaged to Yosef! Hashem sent very strong messages to get me to that wedding and to learn the lesson that Hashem is directing our lives, including sending us places, all the time.

May Hashem bless us to realize that we are all walkers, on our personal journeys, playing our roles based on the script which Hashem wrote for each of us.