Next week is the yahrzeit of my paternal grandfather, Mr. Helmut Bodenheim, Naftoli ben Avraham, z”l. My grandfather was born in Mannheim, Germany, and attended the yeshiva of Rav Samson Rafael Hirsch in Frankfurt. He was fortunate to be able to get a visa to immigrate to America in 1938 when he was 20 years old. He was a man of truth who faced many challenges, but did not bend or compromise in his adherence to Torah and mitzvos. He was drafted into the army in 1943 and fought in the second wave of D-Day. After the war, he married my grandmother and they eventually settled in Washington Heights in the KAJ community of German Jews. He attended the shiurim of Rav Breuer and of Rav Shimon Schwab. My grandfather used to type up the shiurim afterward and maintained a folder for each parsha.
At all junctures in his life he sought the guidance and ruling of his rav. When he was drafted in WWII, he obtained advice on what he should do for kosher food, since the army did not supply kosher meals. When his workplace was relocating to Philadelphia, he asked if he should move his family away from his beloved community in Washington Heights in order to maintain his job. He was told he should go if he finds a good Jewish community in Philadelphia. They ended up moving across the street from the famous Philadelphia Yeshiva and became known for their hachnosas orchim (hosting guests).1.6KAnti-government protests hit the streets of Tel AvivNextStay
What helped my grandfather be so strong in his observance of Yiddishkeit as a young man in a new country? I believe we see the answer in observing the guidance Yaakov received regarding his descent to Mitzrayim. On his way down to Egypt, Hashem appeared to Yaakov in a night vision and told him not to be afraid. “I will be with you, and I will take Bnei Yisrael out of Mitzrayim.” Why the emphasis on the vision being at night? Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk explains that daytime signifies a situation where one can see one’s path clearly. Night is a time of darkness, when the future seems unknown. Avraham and Yitzchak received prophecies during the day, as they did not experience exile, whereas Yaakov received his prophecy in darkness; he was leaving Eretz Yisrael knowing this was the start of an Egyptian exile where his people would be enslaved, but Hashem assured him that He would be with him even in the darkness of exile.
Hashem appeared to Yaakov at night to teach him that the secret to his survival in the darkness of exile was to keep himself attached to the ideals of his father and grandfather, Avraham and Yitzchak, who received their prophecy during the day. My grandfather did just that and steadfastly was guided by his proper Jewish upbringing.
The significance of this continuity can also be seen from the following: Besides their major roles in Jewish history, the Avos also established the three daily tefillos that correspond to the korbanos (offerings) of the day. Avraham established Shacharis, which corresponds to the korban tamid brought in the morning. Yitzchak established Mincha, which corresponds to the korban tamid brought in the afternoon. Yaakov established Maariv. But…korbanos were not permitted to be offered at night! The Gemara explains that Maariv corresponds to the limbs and fats of the offerings from earlier in the day, which were still not burnt. Burning these items at night was permitted as a mere continuation of the daytime korbanos.
One of my grandfather’s sterling qualities was honesty. In business, he always paid his debts in full, right away. If he ever made a commitment, he would see it through. He kept his word. This quality of truth made him a trusted person and a confidante of many people, since he would never divulge any private information.
The importance of truth is demonstrated in Parshas Vayigash. I always wondered: Did Yaakov ever find out the true story about his sons selling Yosef? Ramban says Yaakov never found out. However, Rav Shimon Schwab has a different take, based on the Midrash that says that when Yaakov’s sons told him that Yosef was alive and was the viceroy of Mitzrayim, Yaakov did not initially believe them. The only way they could convince Yaakov was to reveal the entire story of the sale of Yosef. This is implied from the words in the pasuk that says, “They told Yaakov all the words of Yosef.” “All” means they told Yaakov the entire story. The Midrash warns a person not to lie because in the end no one will believe him when he tells the truth. Yaakov knew his sons had lied and only believed them when they told their father the full truth.
Life is a winding path, but truth and following the ways of Hashem serve as a reliable compass. My grandfather lived each day that way, and may we all emulate his approach to navigating the twists and turns of life.
Much of the focus in Parshas Vayigash is the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef and the relationship between the two Shevatim throughout Jewish history. A less discussed, but also highly significant, relationship that originates in these Parshios, is that of Yehuda and Binyamin. In Parshas Mikeitz, Yehuda promises Yaakov Avinu that he would be an Arev (guarantor) to ensure that Binyamin would return safely from their perilous trip to Mitzrayim to meet the harsh Viceroy. This means that he is willing to put his whole life in the balance to ensure Binyamin’s safety. In the beginning of Vayigash, Yehuda demonstrates that he is indeed willing to give up everything to ensure the safety of Binyamin, an unparalleled act of Mesiras nefesh. His self-sacrifice is even greater given the potential for jealousy that Yehuda, a son of Leah, could have for Binyamin, a son of Rachel, whom Yaakov clearly favors.
As the Ramban teaches, Maaseh avos simun l’banim – the acts of our ancestors are a sign of what would take place in the future with their descendants. Indeed, we see a number of examples in Tanach where the relationship between Yehuda and Binyamin was unique among the Shevatim.
The most outstanding example is the relationship between David, a descendant of Yehuda, and Yehonasan, the son of Shaul HaMelech, who is a member of the Tribe of Binyamin. Yehonasan had ample reason to be jealous of David as it was evident that David was destined to be the person to take over the Kingship from Shaul HaMelech. Shaul’s obvious inheritor was Yehonasan so he had the most to lose from David’s success. Yet instead of being jealous of David, he developed a deep love for him. The Navi tells us that, ‘Nefesh Yehonasan nikshera b’nefesh David’ – the soul of Yehonasan became bound up with the soul of David. Interestingly, the only other time we see similar language describing a relationship in the whole of Tanach is when Yehuda refers to Yaakov’s relationship with none other than Binyamin: “Nafsho kshura b’nafsho,” his [my father’s] soul is bound up with Binyamin’s soul.” And as Shaul’s enmity for David increases, Yehonasan becomes more dedicated to David, and willingly accepts that he will be secondary to David: “Do not be afraid because the hand of Shaul, my father, will not find you and you will rule over Yisrael and I will be to you a second, and my father Shaul also knows this.”
It seems that the Mesiras Nefesh and selflessness that Yehuda showed for Binyamin created a deep love between the two that expressed itself hundreds of years later in the deep love of Binyamin’s descendant, Yehonasan, for Yehuda’s progeny, David. Likewise, just as Yehuda had ample reason to be jealous of Binyamin but instead, put aside his own desires, Yehonasan ignored any feelings of jealousy and devoted himself to helping David.
The positive relationship between Yehuda and Binyamin was not limited to individuals. When the Jewish nation splits into two, all of the Tribes join Yeravam to establish the Northern Kingdom, with the sole exception of Binyamin who remained with Yehuda.
However, the Chikrei Lev notes that there was another, far more hostile relationship between members of Yehuda and Binyamin – that was the highly complicated relationship between Yehonasan’s father, Shaul HaMelech and David himself. Initially Shaul also seemed to love David, but this love morphed into deep-seated jealousy as he realized that David was destined to replace him as King. The Navi tells us that Shaul’s hatred began when the women would sing, “Shaul struck thousands and David struck tens of thousands.” This aroused Shaul’s passionate jealousy for David to the extent that Shaul sought to kill David. He failed, and his efforts culminated in his own heinous sin of having the city of Nov killed, and ended ultimately in his death in battle.
The Chikrei Lev wonders how such destructive jealousy consumed such a righteous man as Shaul. He suggests that this was also a manifestation of Maaseh avos simun l’banim. When do we see that an ancestor of Shaul was jealous of an ancestor of David? The Torah tells us that the childless Rachel was jealous of Leah who had many sons. Of course, Rachel in her righteousness, was not jealous in a petty manner, rather she envied Leah’s good deeds, but the Chikrei Leiv posits, the root of jealousy did originate here, and there was the potential for it to exacerbate in a less positive fashion in the future. He then notes the Passuk relates Rachel’s jealousy after her fourth child, because then, Leah had given birth to more than her share of three boys. Who was the fourth son? None other than Yehuda! Hence, there was a Maaseh avos simun l’banim of jealousy between a descendant of Rachel and a descendant of Leah, through Yehuda in particular.
The Chikrei Lev notes another incident where a member of Binyamin was jealous of David. The Navi relates that Shiba Bin Bichri rebelled against David – and he is described as an Ish Yemini – a member of Binyamin.
The Chikrei Lev points out that the concept of Maaseh avos simun l’banim does not mean that the later generations did not have free will – rather we see from the contrasting examples with regard to Rachel and Leah, the potential was there for both the loving relationship that emerged between Yehonasan and David and the relationship plagued by jealousy, as was the case with Shaul and David. On a more practical level, we see that in any relationship, there is the potential for jealousy and the opposite potential for love, if one can put aside his feelings of jealousy. This avodah is no mere Middas Chassidus, rather, as the Rambam points out, it is included in the Mitzva of V’ahavta lereyecha kemocha. He argues that the essence of the Mitzva is to want what’s best for one’s fellow, and to remove any vestiges of jealousy at his fellow’s success. One way to do this is for us to realize that everything one’s fellow has is what he needs for his success, but that if we do not have it, it means that we do not need it, and it is totally not relevant to us. May we merit to emulate the examples of Yehuda and Yehonasan, and their ability to remove all vestiges of jealousy from their hearts.
 See my essay, ‘Shaul Hamelech, why he was King’ for an extensive discussion of the relationship between the descendants of Yehuda and Rachel.
 Shmuel 1, 18:1.
 This is discussed below.
 Shmuel 1, 23:17.
 See Chikrei Lev, Bereishis, Maamar 36, and ‘Judah and Joseph: Transcending Sibling Rivalry’ by Rav David Fohrman shlit’a for more on the connections between Yehuda, Binyamin, David and Yehonasan.
 Shmuel Aleph, 18:7.
 Chikrei Lev, ibid, p.263.
 See Rabbeinu Bechaye, Bereishis, 29:35. It was known that Yaakov would have four wives and twelve boys so it would have been expected that each wife would have three boys.
 Shmuel Beis, 20:1.
 It is important to point out that Shaul HaMelech was a tremendous Tzaddik and that any pgam in his behavior is greatly magnified by the Navi so that we can relate to it on our level.